Adult Status 18+

Adult Status 18+

Boy1:Meet my wife Tina
Boy2.Oh! I know her
Boy1:How?
Boy2:v were caught sleeping together
Boy1:What the hell?
Boy2.during lecture in maths class

One woman stops a taxi. "To the airport, please." After a few minutes, the taxi driver, watching the woman in the mirror, says, "You are third pregnant woman that I have driven to the airport today." She says, "Are you kidding me? I am not pregnant." "Well, you haven’t arrived at the airport yet, either.

In a party a lady wanted
to go to toilet so
she inquired with a sardar
papaji susu karne ki jagah dikhao,  

sardarji replied u naughty
pehle tum dikhao.

A short thing
its get longer as u hold it
& pass between woman's breast
& enters into a small hole
What is it?

Can we do romance in the midnight today?
I'm in a good mood:)
Just a little bit of kissing and biting!!
Reply me soon,
yours Loving Mosquito.

Let me kiss ur lips,
let me feel ur teeth,
let me feel ur tongue.
SMILE!
This is ur friend
"PEPSODENT"
reminding you to brush ur teeth,
Twice a day Everyday :)

Girl:Its 2 tight
Boy:Dont worry,Ill do it slowly,
Gal:Push it in,
Boy:Ah..I cant,
Gal:Its painful,
Boy:Forget it.

Well buy new WEDDING RING!  

Boy:what is that u keep in ur mouth
which is 6" long
and move it in and out
and wait for a white substance to come out?

Girl: y do u ask such question to me.
i cant tell such words

Boy:dont worry its tooth brush

A beautiful girl goes to Professor cabin
and
say
that i will do anything to pass in the exams
and professor says
NOW OPEN YOUR

Books And Study  

It's the thing that satisfies
ur mind, body & soul!
Do it on bed, on a sofa,
in the car or anywhere!
It's called Prayer!
God bless ur naughty mind.

He came at night,
explored my body,
got on top of me,
touched me, he bit,
sucked, swallowed,
when he was satisfied,
he left, i was hurt,

BLOODY... MOSQUITO !!!!

A panda walks into a bar. He asks the bartender how he can get a little action for the night. The bartender motions to a young woman. She talks to the panda, and they go back to her place. After having sex, the panda abruptly leaves. The next night, the woman goes to the panda's house. "You owe me money," she says. "For what?" The woman rolls her eyes and explains, "I'm a prostitute." The panda pulls out a dictionary and looks it up: "Prostitute: Has sex for money." The panda says, "I don't have to pay you. I'm a panda. Look it up." She is about to protest when the panda hands her the dictionary. The woman looks up "panda" in the dictionary, and it reads, "Panda: Eats bush and leaves

A doctor and his wife were having a big argument at breakfast. He shouted at her, "You aren't so good in bed either!" then stormed off to work. By mid-morning, he decided he'd better make amends and called home. "What took you so long to answer?" he asked. "I was in bed," she replied. "What were you doing in bed this late?" "Getting a second opinion.

 

I really deeply wish dat
u r here with me in my room.
on my bed & lights is off &
we get under the cover together..
2 show u my glow in the dark watch.

2 men went 2 a callgirl.
1st went in and came out n said
"Na my wife is better."
2nd went in and came out n said
"U R right ur wife is much better."

Catch her by her waist...
Bring her home..
Keep ur hand on her neck
Put ur lips on her lips
& have a ...
...nice drink...PEPSI

Fair & lovely ke ad ma face dikhaya
Ponds ke ad ma hath dikhaya
Pentene ke ad ma baal dikhaye
Phir always ke ad ma cheating kyun?

3 FEELINGS
what is the difference b/w stress,tension & panic?
Stress is when wife is pregnant,
tension is when girlfriend is pregnant &
panic is when both r pregnant  

NURSE kept SARDAR'S FINGER in HER MOUTH
after BLOOD TEST.
THEN SARDAR STARTED DANCING .
NURSE:y r u DANCING.
SARDAR:next is URINE TEST

Love is a gamble,
Sex is a game,
 Boys do the thing
Girls get the blame,
1 night in pleasure
9 months of pain
1 day in hospital and
a junior needs a name

A girl phoned me
the other day and said ...
"Come on over, there's nobody home."
I went over. Nobody was home

What's an average 6 inch long
Inside a guy's pants and girls love to blow it up?
?
?
?
?
A:1000- rupee currency note.!
Always think positive

Last nite i went 2 bed without u..
cold,naked,thinking of u,
missing ur warmth,
ur soft touch against my skin.
Where were u "last nite" 

Always start your day with a lot of... S E X
S - SMILE
E - ENERGY
X - XCITEMENT
so make S E X a daily habit, and youll always B SUCC SEX FUL! in LIFE.

Come here,
take off your pents and knickers,
get on top of me,
enjoy until u get satisfied,
loving yours.....
toilet!

In a bath room,
a boy touches a girl everywhere!
You Know whose that boy?
Stupid It's Lifeboy Soap!
Dirty people always think dirty.

I want to suck you
lick you
wanna move my tongue all over you
wanna feel you in my mouth
yep, that's how you
eat an ice cream!

True Love Is When A Boy Ask The Girl
For A 'Kiss' And The Girl Simply Close Her Eyes
And Allow The Boy For A 'Kiss'
But The Boy "Kisses" On "Forehead"

I'm with you reading this ,
Looking at your eyes and your lips,
Touching your lips softly with my fingertips.
Making love to you in every kiss.

DO U KNOW D FULL FORM OF KISS MISS
K=KISS
I=IS
S=SO
S=SWEET
M=MISS
I=IS
S=SO
S=SEXY
THATS Y ITS TASTE IS SWEET & SEXY

Any man who can drive safely
while kissing a pretty girl
is simply not giving the kiss
the attention it deserves.  

A kiss is something
you cannot give without taking
and cannot take without giving.

What is the kiss in view.......
Geometry:- "Kiss is the shortest distance between 2 Lips"
Economics:- "Kiss is that thing 4 which DEMAND
is always higher than SUPPLY"

Never kiss a police woman.
She will say "stop and hand-sup".
Never kiss a nurse she will say "next plz. "
Always kiss a teacher,She will say "repeat it 10 times."

 With this Kiss, I reveal all my
thoughts and feelings about you
that I have withheld for so long.
I feel when I am with you ,I am like a Kiss,
not because of it's beauty,
but because I am able to bloom and grow with you…

What kisses mean!
KISS ON HAND=i adore u,
KISS ON CHEEK=lets be friends,
KISS ON NECK=i want u,
KISS ON LIPS=i love u,
KISS ANYWHERE ELSE=....
lets not get carried away!

A page is yellow
in which you will find a fellow
who will kiss you under the pillow.

Love is blind
Be very kind
When I kiss you
Please don't mind

A peach is a peach.
A plum is a plum.
A kiss is not a kiss
unless its with tongues...  

One boy went to meet his girlfriend
when he came back at home
mom asked
kahaan gaey they ?
boy:us se milney
mom: kis liye?
boy: haan bohat kiss liye:D

Kiss On The Forehead ->"Forever you Will Be Mine"
Kiss On The Ear ->"I'm romantic"
Kiss On The Cheek ->"We're Friends"
Kiss On The Hand ->"I Adore You"
Kiss On The Neck ->"We Belong Together"
Kiss On The Shoulder ->"I Want You"
Kiss On The Lips ->"I Love You" OR"I Want You"  

Kiss is not like nokia just connecting people,
not like nike just do it,
not like pepsi yeh dil mange more,
but kiss is like LAYS no one can eat just one

I Want A KISS
Plz KISS Me
Jaldi Koi B Nai Hai
Foran Karo
Jaldi Karo Na
K
I
S
S
U Know KISS
Means
K-Koi
I-Intresting
S-SMS
S-Send Karo
So
KISS Me!!

In an Eskimo kiss,
Two people rub their noses back and forth against each other.
It's based on real kisses
that people in Eskimo cultures give their friends.
Just like with lip kisses,
Eskimo kisses are best executed with your eyes closed.

“It's spring, and the cub comes out of his cave. His knees are wobbling, he's a wreck. He's skin and bones, with big circles under his eyes. His mother says, "Junior! Did you hibernate all winter like you were supposed to?" "Hibernate? Shit, Ma, I thought you said 'masturbate'!”

“A couple were in the bathroom getting ready for work when the husband looked at his wife and said, "I gotta have you!" He backed her up against the bathroom door, pulled down her panties, and ravaged her. He knew he was doing great because she screamed and wiggled more than she ever had before. When he was finished, he started putting his clothes back on and when he noticed his wife still writhing against the door he said, "That was the best, honey. You've never moved like that before, you didn't hurt yourself, did you?" And his wife replied, "No, no. I'll be okay once I can get this old doorknob out of my ass.”  

“A daughter asked her mother, "Mom, how do you spell 'scrotum'?" Her mom replied, "Honey, you should have asked me last night—it was on the tip of my tongue.” 

I was sitting on my own in a restaurant, when I saw a beautiful woman at another table. I sent her a bottle of the most expensive wine on the menu. She sent me a note: "I will not touch a drop of this wine unless you can assure me that you have seven inches in your pants." So I wrote back: "Give me the wine. As gorgeous as you are, I'm not cutting off three inches for anyone.

“Three guys are drinking in a bar when a drunk comes in, staggers up to the counter, and points at the guy in the middle, shouting, "Your mom's the best sex in town!" Everyone expects a fight, but the guy ignores him, so the drunk wanders off and bellies up to the bar at the far end. Ten minutes later, the drunk comes back, points at the same guy, and says, "I just did your mom, and it was sw-eeeeet!" Again, the guy refuses to take the bait, and the drunk goes back to the far end of the bar. Ten minutes later, he comes back and announces, "Your mom liked it!" Finally, the guy interrupts. "Go home, dad, you're drunk.”  

Several years ago, Great Britain funded a study to determine why the head on a man's penis is larger than the shaft. The study took two years and cost over 1.2 million pounds. The study concluded that the reason the head of a man's penis is larger than the shaft is to provide the man with more pleasure during sex. After the results were published, France decided to conduct their own study on the same subject. They were convinced that the results of the British study were incorrect. After three years of research at a cost of in excess of 2 million Euros, the French researchers concluded that the head of a man's penis is larger than the shaft to provide the woman with more pleasure during sex. When the results of the French study were released, Australia decided to conduct their own study. The Aussies didn't really trust British or French studies. So, after nearly three hours of intensive research and a cost of right around 75 dollars (three cases of beer), the Aussie study was complete. They concluded that the reason the head on a man's penis is larger than the shaft is to prevent your hand from flying off and hitting you in the forehead.

It'd be difficult for tamil women in bed.Imagine being lost in sex den moaning 'Oh yes, Harder Balamungthanven mutthuswami chinnaswami iyyer

Wrong use of d word ‘Fuck’. Rocky has broken his leg n his buddy Bob comes over 2 c him. Bob: How r u doing ?? Rocky: Fine. Hey, do me a favor.. Go upstairs & get me my slippers. My feet r freezing! Bob goes upstairs & sees Rocky’s hot twin sisters lying on  

Received a call from a recruitment consultancy. She said to me: “Sir I have two openings for you…!” I replied : Yes. I know. There was a long silence and then she said….. Asshole! Then I said, I prefer the other one

Dear Girls, If your boyfriend remembers your eye colour after the first date, it means that . . . . . . . . . . . . . you have small boobs..!!

Girl : Life is Great, main kuchh Bada karna chahahti hu . . . . . Boy : Pagli , tu sirf Haath me le , bada apne aap ho jaayega..